Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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