This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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