ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
