So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
