I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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