hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
