I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
