Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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