He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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