i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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