I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
