What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
