You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I pour the whiskey from now on
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