At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
