i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
