I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize