Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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