Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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