I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
