So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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