she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
