Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
