are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
