it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
