she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
