Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have post one night stand depression
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
