how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
