I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
