STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
