A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
