needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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