how can u be prego again
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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