come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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