I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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