The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
