I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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