he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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