butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
