There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
