seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think a kid would responsible me up
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
