I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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