as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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