you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
