She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
