There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
