Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
