Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
