only if we run a train.
done.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
