Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I stole a fireplace last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
