never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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